Day 31

Queen of my own heart. Liver of my own life.

Former target of domestic violence.

Advocate for others who still are.

10 long years of sorrow, joy, heartache, love, pain, hope, regret, illness, gratitude.

10 years ago today since we left that house of horror.

Recovery is a life-long project … or feels that way at least.

Reach out to someone who you know has been there too. ❤︎

 

 

Day 19

Have you ever seen yourself through the eyes of the person that you are becoming?

To see our future selves in our own reflection is a moment of incredulity.

If you have asked the universe for something that you desire, that something is waiting for you to collect it … once you have done the work that is required to get to it of course.

That includes the new version of yourself that you are working so hard to become … it already exists … and sometimes we are treated to a glimpse of it when we catch ourselves in the mirror in that millisecond before prejudice awakens …

 

Day 18

You can make LOVE from any combination of circumstances around you. It just requires the right frame of mind and a wee bit of courage.

Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between what’s right for the Self (true love) and the rest of it (deception of Self).

Unfortunately I have found that the only way to FEEL the difference (and so choose accordingly) is to LEARN with the passage of time and experience …

No shortcuts here.

 

Day 17

Arrived back in Charleville in the company of my father, whose death occurred 16 years ago.

I can feel him as strongly as though he were here beside me.

His message to me … You Can Do Anything …

I know, Dad.

I’m trying to get it right.

I miss you 😢

Day 16

Today I walked in two forests, got soaked in the rain and boarded a train that would take me on a 17 hour journey through city, country and clearing until I reached the desert.

The forest is where I am my deepest self – where I am connected to the core of something that I grieve to leave when I have to return to the desert. And once I am in the desert that deep connection seems lost.

Even so, I am able to exist and move forward. But I want to live through the core connection that forest enables me to experience. Not just to exist in forward motion.

And So ….

July passes into the night

Definitely a bit of a train track theme going on in my work and life at the moment. which gives pause to wonder … what does it mean? I know the answer. I’m resetting the tracks. Destination clear ahead, express route. And ain’t no fucker gonna derail me this time, mama.